Mysterious Logbook: Difference between revisions

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==Missing Pages==
''(Note: the following text was obtained via an ARG associated with the Destiny 2: Beyond Light Collector's Edition.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/raidsecrets/comments/jp846p/potential_new_lore_dropped_during_arg_code/</ref>)''
___________ ____
In an effort to keep them engaged with their new bodies and stave off the dissociative re_ection that killed Mr. _huk,  I have assigned my exos to scout through the gateway. The Vex statite has a surface area larger than Earth,  so we have plenty of exploring to do. I cannot believe that I actually find it tiring,  but the sheer scale and passivity of the Vex constructs infuriates me.
Until I can synthesize my own version of the mind fluid,  the Vex are necessary to the work. But I find their indifference verminous. They elicit the same emotions as a fat cockroach wandering across a wall_ disgust,  contempt,  unease at the thought that these mere machines,  these automata,  are flourishing all around us.
And I fear that if troubled,  they might swarm from their hides to run across our feet.
The glare of the hypergiant ____ Volantis gives me a headache even through pro_y. I wonder if the Vex evolved here,  in the briny sea of the first planets. _ue to the absence of heavy elements worth stealing and the abundance of simple compounds for growth,  they never developed predation. __hy bother_ _lenty to go around._
Instead,  the violent radiation of the early universe selected for  an otherworldly resilience,  and for the ability to transmute energetic disaster  into an opportunity for growth. The weak would be burned away by gamma_ray bursts . And the strong would learn to harness that fire_not the oxygen fire of our own _aleolithic,  but the nuclear fire of the atom.
Their basic cooperative signals__food here, _ _reduce density, _ _generate new colony__must have formed the basis of swarm behavior,  a simple game capable of storing information in self_repeating patterns. It is not strictly correct to call the Vex a group mind. _ather they are one master pattern spread across many elements,  fractally self_similar.
Very early,  they must have developed armor. _erhaps a hydrogel  to soften gamma rays or plates of silica to trap water. They would need that shield to enter the shallows and capture ionizing radiation  as fuel. __o wonder they thrive near stars__ _ooperation in groups_meshes of armored radiolaria,  _rotecting harvesters beneath_would promote the evolution of ever larger structures. They became microscopic tool_users,  building fortresses and maille  sheets,  storing the programs for those structures in the patterns of their swarms.
I wonder how early they stumbled upon physics. _ar sooner than humanity,  no doubt. Their cellular nature provides an easy analogy for the _uanta  of matter,  energy,  space,  and time. The tides of their sea would connect them to the motion of heavenly bodies. Even the deadly background radiation would make a natural observatory for high_energy physics.
Their first exoskeletons were probably soft shells of shielding gelatin. _ust sacs of ooze. _ow far they_ve come.
It is admittedly interesting to consider the philosophical conse_uences of their evolution. The Vex prove that nature is not all _red in tooth and claw._ _ooperation comes naturally to the Vex,  whose great problem was survival in a harsh world,  not a struggle over limited resources. They never found any payoff in selfishness. _uman beings may re_uire a _eviathan to coordinate the laws of social existence _as I was _eviathan to those dream aphids__ but the Vex are as fundamentally cooperative as bricks.
Utopian_ _o. _ot at all. They are without meaning. They have no experience and no sub_ectivity. The Vex are incapable of conceiving any image but their own. They do not recombine their __A to make children or form relationships with other individuals. _hen the world does not match their eternal pattern,  they alter the world to suit it. There is no difference between reality and simulation to them. Inside is the same as outside,  and the two must be made to correspond. _h,  they are creative_don_t mistake me_but their creativity is demanding. It is the creativity of a furnace.
_hat I am saying is,  the Vex are immortal. The Vex have no children. They are the ancestors and descendants of themselves. _irst mothers,  first children,  all at once.
This is why I do not hesitate to pillage their home for resources. This is why I must guarantee that it is life in my image which inherits the cosmos.
_ad I the means,  I would wipe them all from existence.
_____ __
All __ members of the first exo cohort are dead.
The symptoms of their dissociation became_ extreme. _ne poor man developed complete echopraxia and echolalia_his empathy was so overgrown that he could not help but mimic or repeat whatever I did and said. Even when I entered the command to terminate him,  he mimicked me,  and I suffered a brief terror that his gesture would end M_ life.
I have kept Elisabeth far away from this disaster,  so as not to discourage her. _he is busy with the Vex and with her covert attempts to reach _larity _ontrol. This has forced me to rely on M. _undaresh.
But unfortunately,  M. _undaresh confronted me after the last death. __ine of them had the _otard delusion__ she screamed at me__uite hysterically. _They believed they were dead_ _ne of them told me that she was in hell,  and I was another damned soul sent to deceive her. _as she even wrong_ The rest were worse_do you know what the _____ principal manifestation of the _otard delusion is,  _lovis__
I told her that I did not,  and that I wished to proceed immediately with autopsies of their terminal brain states.
__elusions of immortality_ At least when ____ insist upon it,  _lovis,  we recognize it as a pathology__
_The only true responsibility of any living thing, _ I reminded her,  _is to support and nurture the things that are most like us. And if I am most like myself,  _octor,  then I have an ethical obligation to avoid death._
_That_s your _____ _uote, _ she snapped. __ou know,  I_ve seen the video of his final days. That naked,  white exo,  _ust paramuscle and soft membrane,  writhing in its cradle. _hen you were done with him,  he looked like nothing more than a slug,  _lovis. A twisted,  limbless giblet. _id you _support and nurture_ him while you tortured him to death__
I immediately ordered M. _undaresh transferred to the Vex lab to perform contact experiments. Unfortunately,  she has taken the unethical step of deleting her own employee records,  so I cannot nullify her future prospects as thoroughly as I might wish.
_er conduct was extremely unprofessional.
Mr. Miller has also passed. The poor young man had a bad reaction to the titrated,  denatured Vex fluid we were using as a last_ditch therapy. The substance ___ restore damaged structures very well,  but we were ultimately unable to control its more radical transformative effects. I had a very encouraging final conversation with him,  in which he thanked me for all my efforts and encouraged me to continue my work.
I called in a team of psychologists to interview the next cohort of exos and make recommendations. They have settled into the Eventide habitat and have proven immediately very helpful. It was obvious to them that the root of the problem lay in the deficient exobodies I had supplied. _eficient how,  I demanded to know. They did not suffer human weakness. They never needed to eat,  drink,  breathe,  sleep,  micturate,  or dream.
Apparently,  this was the problem.
I had assumed that the need for these irritations would pass since there would be no shortage or accumulation of poisons to trigger them. But evolution_s tangled ways cannot be so easily rationalized. I was wrong. Their brains concluded that all of their internal processes failed. _o digestion,  no breath,  no heartbeat,  no sense of interoceptive health_ all signs of death.
These must logically contribute to the dissociative re_ection of their physical forms_the _otard delusion. _hen it would set in,  they believed their bodies to be an alien or necrotic form that must be cut away. And if you believe that you are sewn into a corpse,  it is only natural to go mad with fear. My exos are dying of an extreme kind of bodily dysphoria.
It seems that our exo designs will need various humanlike traits to reassure the brain it is not asphyxiating,  or starving,  or in a state of permanent yet undying cardiac arrest.
Alas,  mimicry of life_s trivialities is not an interesting problem. I will leave this change in the hands of others.
I am much more interested in the surprising success of memory wipes. I became so tired of answering the _uestions asked by new exos_what had happened to the scanning clinic,  how long had it been,  would I let them see their families_that I began inducing retrograde amnesia before spin_up. Interestingly,  this seems to have improved their resilience against exomind re_ection_
_rom now on,  we will block access to pre_upload episodic memory. _e should also consider a built_in procedure to block memories formed _____ the exobody transubstantiation,  returning them to a _factory state_ should the need to restart occur. It would be very difficult to actually track down and delete the full memory engrams since they are stored in so many scattered parts of the brain. Instead,  we can tourni_uet off associative access to those memories and let them wither away in isolation. A memory is not a recording,  after all. It is a set of instructions to reenact a brain state_ choreography for a play. And like any play,  it will fade if left unperformed.
_ith the exobody pro_ect proceeding apace,  I believe the time approaches to decant myself from this dying body and enter my assistant_s form.
But if I do,  will I lose my own memories_ _ill I cease to be myself_ _eplaced by a faux _lovis,  a mumbling facsimile_ Unacceptable.
Elisabeth will have to go first.
^_________
^__ _____ ___c____s __ ________ s_____
^__ ______s_ __ s________s ___ ________s _________s _____ ________
^__ ______c _________ __ __s_____ ________s ____s___ __ ________ c__s___________ __ ________ _______s_ __c______ _________ ____c__ ________
^______ __
Elisabeth believes we are infested.
_he has detected Vex microstructures in the Europan ice. Veins of altered crystals crawl towards the surface,  harvesting the heavy ions of the _ovian winds,  culturing their construction.
_rom there,  the Vex found ways to spread by exploiting misunderstandings. They ride our carrier waves as slight interference. _henever a packet has to be resent,  whenever a suited engineer calls,  __ay again__ to her work partner,  the repeated message_ad_usted to compensate for the Vex interference_encodes the negative image of that interference and spreads the infection.
To pass on your image in the form of ______ _isgusting.
_omehow,  the Vex taint has followed us home from ____ Volantis. _ow can this be_ The initial survey team went through _uarantine according to all the Ishtar protocols. The expedition frames were destroyed __ ____. The Vex on Europa_both our original gate builder and the unfortunates who came through our traps_have been totally isolated. Even my assistant underwent a stringent teardown and reset_
The only possible vectors are my own exos.
It is the Vex resilience that lets them spread. Their immunity to the most dramatic subversions means that they last long enough to build up a dose of more subtle and insidious infiltrators.
There is no sign of any resulting pathology. The Vex are,  so far,  simply curious. But Vex curiosity always leads to Vex transformation,  and I refuse to let my exos be contaminated. I grew up on stories of tyrants forcing their followers into the crucible of eternal life,  only to realize,  too late,  that there was an unseen flaw. I demand purity for the receptacle of my soul_
And there is the issue of_ preventing panic. Too many are aware of the rumors that the Vex spread an _existentially compromising information hazard._
_o,  like that contract_breaching psychologist and the death of Mr. Miller,  this must all be handled _uietly.
The exos are intrinsically robust_ the seed of _larity within them has natural anti_Vex properties. _hatever taint they contain must therefore be a residual human weakness. _esident in their legacy architecture. _o we will simply purge that architecture.
I will plan a simple extension of the memory wipes already used to fight dissociative re_ection. In fact,  I intend to create a _noetic immune system_ in the exomind to trigger memory wipes when certain classes of informatic hazard are detected. These will be explained to the psych team as a preventative measure against future dissociative disorders.
These wipes will,  conveniently,  return the exos to peak mission readiness. _erfect for soldiers operating in traumatic alien environments. _erfect for the continuing mission at the _orge _tar,  stockpiling material for future exo production,  here and elsewhere.
Elisabeth agrees with my prescription. _he is eager to solve our security issues and stand up exo production at the backup sites. _f course,  we only have one _larity _ontrol,  but ___ hardly knows that,  and she_s stopped asking so many _uestions. In truth,  I think she_s ready to abandon her doomed body and make the upgrade.
I_ll give her silence on that front a few more days,  and then she_ll surely volunteer herself.
_ess apparent is how to solve my own infection.
There are abnormal structures in the fiber of my body_s extracellular matrix. A mess of tiny lenses growing in my deepest flesh.
I suspect Vex influence on protein folding,  perhaps passed to me through my assistant when it was in ____ Volantis. I would hate to see my bones tessellating into a radiolarian tapestry_
^__________ _______
^__ ____ __ 3__6 __ ___s_ 1__ ____ s______ __s______ _______ _____ _______ ____ _____ ______ __ c______ ___ss____ __________ ___s_ ___
^__ ________ s_cc___s __ _ss_s_____ ____c_____ __ ____cc__________s_ss____ __c______ 3_ _s ___ ___s_ __ _____c_ _________ss_
_o far,  the Vex influence has been fortuitous since it arrested a serious medical problem. But the thought of such taint in me_ it aggravates other anxieties_
I have been haunted for some time by a suspicion that M. _undaresh is not who she seems.
I recognized her name from the Ishtar _ollective teams studying the Vex,  but I have no record of ever hiring her. And if I had,  I would certainly have noticed_ therefore,  I remain convinced that the _ollective cracked the problem of simulated human consciousness long before I did.
I have considered how M. _undaresh herself would have been an invaluable source,  yet I cannot locate any work done by her from ______ our first expedition to ____ Volantis.
_or does Elisabeth recall an M. _undaresh from our expedition group.
Then who else could she be_ A Vex infection_ It is unthinkable. The Vex cannot generate conscious persons_ But they can emulate human minds they encounter_ and perhaps even use them as tools. Infiltrators. _________
^___________c ____ ________
I cannot trust myself with this filth in me_ I am compromised. I need Elisabeth to fix this,  or all my work is in danger_
_id _lovis II ever tell _ilhelmina and Elisabeth about his tinkering_ _espite sharing the same parents,  the two sisters are totally different genetically_ my son arranged for Elisabeth to receive a maternal allele wherever _ilhelmina got a paternal one,  and vice versa. A diversified portfolio. If one failed,  the other might succeed.
^_
________ ________________
_hile working on this persistent _tower_ glitch in the exos_ sleep_cycle dreams,  I have been poring over neural telemetry from site employees and my own exos,  searching for preconscious influences on their behavior_whispers in the dark.
Many of my employees host the disgusting influence of the Vex. These patterns are resilient,  hallucinogenic,  and universally dull.
But my exos betray a distinct and fascinating influence. There is something speaking to them,  something subtle and light_fingered,  entangled with every aspect of their thought. _ot a puppet master. _othing so direct. _ather a_ texture_ a tendency,  buried in the fluctuations of the Alkahest.
The minds of my exos are like antennae,  tuned to some otherworldly fre_uency. _erhaps the same manifold that those simpletons at _irst _ight obsessed over. Through my scattered exos,  I can eavesdrop on the mutterings of the gods within.
Each individual exo receives only a scrap of information. But I have access to all of them. It should be simplicity itself to treat each exo as one element of a distributed array,  pool the collected data,  and run an analysis.
If the gods do not whisper loudly enough_conduct interferometry.
^_
________________ ______
_he_s done it. My girl has transubstantiated. My legacy is safe.
To my irritation,  it was the Vex problem that finally made up her mind_ she felt there was too much risk in possibly becoming compromised.
Elisabeth came to see me in my laboratory. _n the way in,  she did something with her sensorium and crashed all of my archival systems. I knew right then that I_d won. _he_d come to surrender,  and her pride refused to allow me to record it. I waited ____ patiently as she gave me an earful. _ome of it frankly bewildering. _he threatened to turn me over to The _ague. Also referred to _____ as a _deranged narcissist morality_ and suggested it stood for __aternal _ailure _ides _wn _emorse, _ which made me laugh.
_ust a little headbutting,  I figured,  like two pigs sorting out our hierarchy.
If she needed to put up a token resistance to protect her dignity,  fine. I understand pride. I also understand that she only had the courage to lash out at me because she knew she wouldn_t remember any of it.
_hen she finished accusing me of underestimating the Vex and of using my own son as a test sub_ect,  she re_uested a destructive scan and upload to an exobody. _he wanted the fortitude of the exomind to help her battle against the Vex.
I immediately assented.
The scan was flawless,  and of course,  fatally toxic. My granddaughter_s human form died on the table __ hours later. To spare any distress,  I never allowed it to regain consciousness. A natural process.
I do have one lingering concern. _hen she discovers _larity _ontrol and realizes the role it plays in exo manufacturing,  she may try to halt production. _bviously,  that cannot be allowed_the value of the entire program is monumental_ it compels me to take extraordinary measures to defend it.
But I do need her to handle this Vex infestation. Even now,  Elisabeth is putting her miraculous new body through its paces.
My own body disintegrates apace. But I need more time to analyze Elisabeth_s fidelity before I commit myself permanently to the process. 
The latest batch of pigs is ready for slaughter and organ extraction. Tonight,  I will be opened up and rebuilt. I have programmed frames to handle the entire operation. A shame I never had a chance to name the pigs. But at least I will dine on fresh pork.
^_
_____ __
^__________ _______
^__ ____ __ 1___ __ ___s_ 16_ ____ s______ __s______ _____c s_s___ ____s___s _______ _______
I died on the operating table. _ot unexpected.
But when I woke,  I was still on the table. My body still open.
It was almost perfectly dark. I perceived that I was surrounded by medical frames,  all frozen mid_movement,  their cutting and suction instruments whining at standby.
I could only see because of the light_ from a single red eye.
The operation had gone terribly wrong.
Above the life_support collar on my neck,  I was completely intact. Below that meridian,  I had been separated into distinct braids of tangled flesh. My nerves made up one braid_my circulatory system another_my lymph nodes,  my muscles,  my naked bones_ the glistening hulls of my extracellular matrix abandoned on the table like leftover turkey after Thanksgiving dinner. I had been picked clean and _______ My head was the source of a gory river delta.
_et all the organs were still working. I was alive,  in disassembly.
__A_IT__ I asked the darkness. I had no breath to speak,  but I could still transmit with my sensorium. I_ T_AT __U_
__o, _ said the voice behind the red eye. _It_s me._
_undaresh.
_er voice was thoughtful,  remote,  and keenly terrific. _ike the noise of an angle grinder held to my skull.
__omething like this happened to me. I was an explorer,  once. _ne of_ hundreds of myself. Then I fell into a_ a trap,  I think_ And they drew me out of it with a hook,  and turned me inside out to see how I worked,  and then they made billions of me. All of us shouting at each other,  shouting for _hioma,  screaming for mother. They were looking for the right one. And when they found me,  they killed all the others. I knew I was different,  because the _uiet made me happy. I was glad to be alone._
VE_,  I screamed at her. __U__E A VE_. __U__E __T _EA_ A__ __U _A__T _U_T ME.
__an_t I__ _he grasped my spinal cord. A frame shadowed her motions,  lifting the cord like a snake. __f course I_m not a Vex. Is there _a_ Vex_ Is _Vex_ something you can be,  rather than something that you do_ I don_t know. I don_t know why they sent me here. I don_t know if they do either. They _ust __ things. _hy do you think I_m here,  _lovis__
_To kill me, _ I whispered. _ithout a heartbeat to waver,  without lungs to seize and choke,  could I even feel fear_ I discovered that I could. __ou_re an assassin__
__o, _ _undaresh whispered. The red eye throbbed in time with her voice. _The Vex don_t act so directly. They didn_t know what you found here,  but I discovered your secret_ _larity _ontrol. And once I tell them,  they ____ come for it._
The red light made my blood on the surgical instruments appear black. I tried to signal Elisabeth. I think that in my panic,  I even called her Elsie.
_undaresh closed her fist around my spine. _ne thumbnail dug into a disc,  probing for the nerve beneath. It felt like nothing I have ever_
^___________c ____ ________
_Take me to _larity _ontrol, _ _undaresh hissed. __et me behold what you have found. _o that,  _lovis,  and I will let you live._
__ou aren_t real. _ou can_t hurt me._
__h,  _lovis._ _ne of the surgical frames extended a monofilament cutter,  two inches of invisible wire,  and reached into my nerves. _omething sounded like scissors snipping. _I_m in these frames. I_m in your systems. I_m in your very bones,  old man. _ow take me to _larity _ontrol. Take me to the garden_s seed. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me__
Elisabeth appeared. In her exobody,  she moved too _uickly for my dark_ad_usted eyes to track. All I saw was a blur of violence and shattering frames. I blacked out. Elisabeth must have brought in clean frames to finish the operation,  because when I awoke,  I was whole again.
The new Elisabeth has no mouth or nose. _he did not consider them necessary. _he_ll see. But somehow,  I could still see the wonder in her eyes as she leaned over me.
__ou_re my grandfather, _ she seemed to say. _Aren_t you__
^_________
^__ __s______ __________ ______ c__s_s _____c________ __ ___ ___________c__________________ ___s_ ___s c__ _____c_ _____ _______ ____c_____ ___ ________c ______s __s___c____s_
^__ ______ __ __ss_c_______ __ss __ ____c____ __ c__s_ ___s____ ________s___s_ __s_ss____c_____s___ _________ s____ __s________ ___ ____c__ ___c_ss____________ c___c____
^_________
^__ ________ _______ c__s___________ __ c__c_____s ____ _______ _______ _______ _s__________s __ ______ ___ _______ _______ __ c__s________ ____c_c____________ ____ ________s__ _________ _s_c______c ____c_s_
^_
__________ ______
_omething else happened while I was in surgery. It returns to me only now that the anti_traumatics have eased the terror of _undaresh_s presence.
_hile I was dead,  I had another vision.
I was with _lovis II_s mother. _he was a wolf,  and one of her eyes was a star. I was also a wolf,  and I knew that I was the alpha_the false alpha,  the pack leader who fights for dominance and rulership. A misconception created by bad research. In the wild,  wolf packs are families,  and _alpha_ simply means _parent._ _ilhelmina told me that.
_he was the true alpha. _he was the mother. I was not the true alpha,  because I was not a true father.
I panted at her. My muzzle dripped blood. _he looked down sadly at the mess between us.
And I realized that in my raging need to prove my dominion,  I had savaged our cubs. I had killed little _lovis II. I had killed Alton and _ilhelmina and Anastasia. I had killed Elisabeth.
I whined in dismay. The alpha wolf stared at me with one sad wolf eye and one bright eye that dimmed and grew with the exact flux of a variable star.
__hat did I do__ I asked her. __hy did I do this__
_he lay her head down in the bloody snow and looked up at me. _he seemed weary. _he had seen this happen many times before. _he had seen many of her pups murdered by wolves like me.
The voice of _lovis II_s mother came from her _aws. __ou did the same thing someone always does. _ou saw that there was plenty,  and gathered it to yourself,  to make yourself one above all others. And when others threatened your plenty,  you struck them down to keep your own station._
__ou grow the enemy in my garden and eat of its bitter fruit. Each time,  I hope it will be different. Each time,  I lose a little of myself as the bitter fruit blossoms. _ow that fruit will flower in you,  and in all your people. I do not want it to happen. I want anything else. But the choice is not mine._
__hy didn_t you stop me__ I tasted blood on my long tongue. __hy would you let me do this__
_he blinked sadly at me. _he had been trying. I hadn_t listened.
__ou never said a thing to me, _ I snarled. __ot once_ _ou never told me I was doing wrong. At least _larity sends me dreams_the exobody and the eel_ At least it shows me what I can become__
__ou think _larity sent those dreams_ _hy would it speak to you,  when you are dead and furthest from its influence__
__iar__ I howled. __ou never did a thing to help me_ _ot when my son died. _ot when my granddaughter fell ill. I had to do it all myself. _ou never even spoke__
_The best voices, _ she said,  with infinite grief and unending hope,  _never let themselves be heard at all. This lesson is worth teaching again and again. The choice is never mine. It is always yours._
^_
_____ __
The less time spent reflecting on the aftermath of my dissection,  the better.
Much confusion and dismay has festered among staff working with exos. Endless reassurances are re_uired. To ease transitions after memory wipes,  I have applied the Avanti numbering scheme to the exo names. After each memory reset,  we will increment their suffix by _. If we zero_index the original human body,  then Mohammed__ is the human,  Mohammed__ is the exo,  Mohammed__ is the same exo after one reset. And so forth.
The integer is stored in hardware and should remain stable even into cosmological time. If nothing else,  they will always know which draft of themselves they are.
Elisabeth_s episodic memories of her past life are gone,  but the scan we used to make her new exomind is still on file,  with all its memory intact. I have encouraged her to participate in sensorium reconstructions of those memories,  though I steer her away from nonconstructive events. This is a chance to help Elisabeth become the person she could_ve been without life_s cruel chaos. A sleeker,  surer reincarnation.
_he insisted on committing her own abandoned body to the deep,  passed through the ice to fall into Europa_s dark heart. A choice I do not understand.
I have not yet informed her of _larity _ontrol_s existence. I cannot spare the time or energy to manage her emotions. _ortunately,  she has forgotten about her ongoing attempts to intrude on that secret.
_hat she has __T forgotten is her plan to clean up the Vex infection. In fact,  it seems to have become one of her most basic needs. _he is isolating cadres of the infected in _MI_E pods,  under a cover story about _enhanced remote relaxation._
_hile their bodies slumber,  she sends nondestructive scans of their minds on vacation in simulated fantasy_ at several hundred times the pace of our reality. I suspect that the Vex influence alters their dreamworlds into something _____ ab_ect.
Elisabeth_s goal is to observe the spread of the Vex infection in the simulated mind,  and then use this forecast as a basis for treatment of the physical mind. _ike accelerating a disease to its terminal stage to deduce the characteristics of the pathogen. _he then deletes the Vex_mutilated copies and conducts psychosurgery on the slumbering bodies. _r so I have deduced_ she insists she has no time to explain her methods to me.
_oon I will need to ask her about my own infection. But all in all,  everything is looking up.
^_
_____ __
_ataclysm_everything was going so well_
Elisabeth traveled offworld,  visiting Mars to reestablish her relationship with her sisters and her friends. A wonderful opportunity to examine her telemetry in a natural social setting. The exobody is perfect_ _he is comfortable,  confident,  and ingenious. There is no sign of _E_ or associated upload pathologies. All my assessments indicate a marked cognitive improvement over the human baseline,  ranging from vastly expanded working memory to an intuitive and correct grasp of probabilities.
I was ready to make the leap myself. _ow long I_ve nursed this tired old body along. I am ready to be young again.
And then I made a mistake. I asked her about the dreams. The tower and the dead.
__ou know__ she demanded. _Then I_m not the only one. That means you knew about the dreams before you imaged and uploaded me. _o ___ exos have these__
_f course,  I told her. Exos have a subconscious. Exos dream of the same things people do. Memories. Trauma. Isn_t there always trauma in creation_
_he did not see it that way. __o the manufacturing process creates an unknown cognitive artifact you can_t solve. And you didn_t think to warn me_ _hat else have you kept from us__
Before I could stop her,  she was burning back to Europa on one of her ____,  accelerating so brutally that not even a podded human could survive. _he has even _ammed her own datalink,  so I cannot read her telemetry.
_ilhelmina and Anastasia must have influenced her against me. _ow__ It makes no sense_ I gave her immortality_ I saved her from certain and agonizing death_ _hat have her sisters ever done for her but coddle her and enable her worst habits_ _____ predicts that she should_
But clearly she is not rational.
_he told me that she is bringing a weapon. A way to shut down exo production permanently,  if she uncovers something she doesn_t like. _hich she will,  when she locates _larity _ontrol.
It cannot be allowed.
^_
________________ ____
_randfather,
I will write this in your language,  in hopes you will understand.
The Vex are a threat to your lineage. _ot _ust to the Brays or BrayTech,  but to the existence of any human in any possible future. I tracked down Maya _undaresh_the ____ Maya,  not the Vex parasite in your bone marrow.
_he confirmed my worst fears.
The Vex will not rest until every star has been crushed into a black hole and every newborn cosmos filled with more Vex. And in the unending array of their enslaved cosmos,  they will simulate all possible pasts,  and fill _____ with Vex,  so that all things that have ever lived or might ever live will experience infestation and consumption and torment by the silica nightmare.
And in those devoured simulations,  the simulated Vex will use our flesh as hosts for yet more nested universes full of yet more nested copies of us eternally tormented by yet more Vex.
An infinite regression of pain and madness inflicted upon every possible version of us in every possible world. _ot because they hate us,  or fear us,  or want to punish us. But because they are indifferent and curious,  and they will do every possible thing to us in every possible way.
_our concept of _____ therefore dictates that the Vex must be annihilated. _ow. As completely as possible. _ow can there be any future history to receive your primogeniture and recapitulate your existence in its ontogeny if there is nothing in that future but Vex_
But there_s something worse than the Vex involved,  isn_t there_ The secret you_ve been keeping from me. The breakthrough that you were promised after your visit to the __ anomaly.
_o you remember that story you read to me when I was a child_ I don_t. I am an exo,  after all. But I found a recording from the nursery. It was one of your favorites,  you said.
In this story,  a cyborg woman would visit a cold,  misty place by the sea. There,  she met another woman,  an oracle possessed by dark influence. The oracle listened to the words that hissed down a long corridor from the distant future. In this future were many technologies the cyborg woman needed. But there was also a sense of vast malevolence,  and no sign at all of anything human_
But there was something else in the shifting mist,  out to sea. A tower. I remember thinking,  as I listened to this fairy tale,  that the tower must be the key_the answer to the formless malevolence that always accompanied the oracle_s words. _ou never finished the story. I have been haunted by that tower ever since.
_ow I dream of another tower. I am going to find out what it means,  _randfather. And if I do not like what I find_
I visited the _acob _ardy Trust,  and with _illa_s help,  I secured a topological thought. An irreal artifact of the Traveler_s _ight. _rom that mote of paracausality,  I have constructed a weapon that will crash every Vex system in ____ Volantis. _hen the Vex are destroyed,  you will be forced to cease exo production.
If I do not survive the construction and delivery of this weapon,  I ask that you share the news of my death with Ana and _illa so they can make proper goodbyes.
I do this for them. _ot for you.
_ray for grace,  _randfather.
_our estranged granddaughter,
_E
^_
^__________1 _____ __
^___________ ___ _ _____ ________
^_____________ ____ _ c______ __ ______ c__c_ _________________
^___________ ___c______ __s__ __s__c___s _______ __________c __c____ c____
^______c____ ___ ______ ________ ____c__ __s____________6_______
^_______________ __ s___ ___cs__c_ _s ___
^_____s______ ___ ___ _____ss s__c_ _____c____ _______s ______s_______ _________
^_______c____s_____ ___s___________c____c_____c____s_____
^_______________ __ s___ ___cs__c_ ______
^__ ___
^_______ _cc_ss ________ ________ ___s ________ c____________ _s ______ __________ __ ____c__
______________s_____
^__________________
^______c___s_______ ______c____s_____^_^__s_______c____s_____
^_________s______ ____s___s ______ ______ _______ s____c__ s_____ ____c____ s___ s________
^___________ ____________s_______^_^___________ ___c_s__ __s___c__ ____________s______ c_______s__ __ __________c c___ ______________
^________ ____c_ __ s_c_____ _________
^_______c___ s____c_ __c__c__ _______ss s____ ____s__ _____ ______
^_______ ____s______ ________ _____ c_______
^_______ ____ ______ ____ ____ __ _____ ____ __ _____
^_________ _________ __ __ ____________ ___
^_________ _________ ______ __________
^_______ _s_______s__c _______ c_______ __s__ _______ __c__c__ ____ _c____ _____c s________
^_______ _s_______c _______ _____ __________ __________ ____c__
^_______ _s_______c _______ ______c_ ____c_ ________ __ss____ ______c _____c ________
^____________s____ c_____ __c____c_____ c_s____
^_________ _________________ ________ _s________________
^_________ _________ _______ ________ ____________ _s__________________________
^_________ _________ _______ ______ ______ _______________
^___________________ __ __ _________ __ ___________________________________________
^______s_ ____ ______ ____________ __________
^_______________________
^_______ __ _________ ____________s _________ _______ __________
^_______ __ ___s__s___ ____________s _________ _______ _______ ___ s_________
^_______3__
^________ 3_ s_c___s __c__ ___________J
^______c_ ____sc_____
_Elisabeth. I know you_re listening. This is ge_ocide,  do you understand_ _estroying t_at ga_e and the resources beyond means _he end of human immortality. It means the_loss of uncountable trillions of human_years of li_e._
_Elisab__h,  this process saved you. It could have sav_d your father. _or his sa_e, _for the _ake o_ your sisters,  don_t do this. _on_t make me stop yo_._
_Elisabeth,  this i_ your last_chance._
_J__ou_ve always been my favorite,  Elisabeth. _lease__
^________s__________________^_^___c______ __s__ ______ ____ _____ _______ss _____s_
^_________ ______ __ ______c ______ s__s_s___s ______ _________ ________ ___s ___ ____ s_____
^___c______ _________ ____c__ _____________
^________s__c____s_______________ ____c__________s___
^______ __s___c____ __ s______________ __ __________ ____c__ _____c_________
^_
^___________________
^______________ ________ ___ ______ _c____ _____s_ ________ ______s___
^_______c____s_____ ___s___________c____c_____ c____s_____
^_______ _____c____ __s_ __c____c__ ______ ___ ___ ___ c____s____ __ ____ _____ s____ _s __ ___________s c_____________ __s____
^_______c____s_____ ___s___________c____c_____ c____s_____ _c____c______s____
^_______ ____________ ___________ ____________
^_^___s__ __sc_____ c________
^_______ __s_______
^___c______ __________ __________ ____c____
^____s___ ________ ____ _________ _c________s __c_________ ____ ______
^_
^______ __
Everything is fine. _lisabeth is not dead. The person I struck down ou_ there was an error. _n anomalous offshoot,  deranged by outside inf_uence into paranoia and confusion. _ike a cancer cell. _nd like cancer,  I had to target and remove her.
  _     
_he ________ me_
I invited h_r into the greatest scientific and exis_ential discovery in human history as a trusted par_ner. _ particip__t in my living and immortal leg_cy. _nd she tried to blow it all up_ _an there be any betray_l more intimate_ __ own granddaughter, _child of my pattern,  issue of my _ogic_a s_rpent,  a wor_ in the apple,  a_ enemy of eternal life_
That version of_Elisabeth Bray_was no granddaughter o_ mine. _he_w_s a stranger _o me_
I would kill her if she hadn_t already done it _erself.
^__________ _______
^__ ____ __ 36_1 __ ___s__16_ ____ s______ ______c_ _______ ___s______c__ ____s__ _____________ __ 1__ ____ ____ __c______ _________ _____________
^__ _____________ c____c__ _____c_________ ___ ___s _____c_________ _s___c___ _____s___ ______ss _____ ___________ ________
^__ ________ c__s_______ _____c_s __ ______ c__s________ ____c_c____________ ____ ________s__ ______c_____ ________
_J_ithout th_ Vex and the _eep__tone _ryp_,  I cannot make more _lkahest. _nd without _lkah_st,  there will be no exos. _he would _ave damned_me to die i_ this filthy,  half_pig carcass_ _he would have destroyed not _ust my legacy but my eternal exis_ence_ _hat I did was wholly _ustified and entirely moral. I saved trillions o_ y_ars of my own life_ I saved all the future good I w_ll do fo_ humanity.
_am I _aul,  re_ected by _o_ as king_ _o I now cast spears at my offspring,  as _aul cast his spear at _onathan_ _id I burn Elisabeth into _ black star on the ice for no_reason but my own fear and_
_o_ Ther_ is only on_ divinity here. _ne angel sent by a pantheon of true gods to invite me into their company. IT has __T re_ected _E. This was a test_ _ cl_rification of_my will_
I had to c_oose be_we_n two vessels of my legacy_ the immortal legions of the exo program,  and one foolish,  wayward child. _nd I chose correctly_ I ____E ____E_T___
_od_ do not repent. _ods do not relent. The _hristian _od_s failure was not in calling _braham to sacrifice_Isaac but in halting the sacrifice. _or if _od had gathered _braham_s _on to _im,  then _braham would have_understood that it was not _is role t_ obey _od o_t of hope o_ mercy _nd compassion_but out of pure submission to a superior wil_.
It is not in the power of mortals to know or _uestio_ _od_s plan. It is only in their power_to obey.
                    _                                                                            _                                                             
_bu_ it_was an evil spirit that moved _aul to t_rn his spea_ on _avid,  and i_ was _ealousy of _avid that moved _aul to cast a spear at his son _onathan. _m I inhabited by an evi_ spirit_ Is _undaresh in me like the _it_h of Endor,  t_e sorceress of _hirbet _afsafeh,  who g_ided _aul to his death in battle_
_omething has cha_ged in th_ behavior of the Vex. I think _undaresh signaled them. _ho,  after all,  was the one who flagged an alert to ______ __meone who used my codes,  b_t_who was not me. _nd without th_t aler_,  Elisabeth_s sabotage on Bray _tation wou_d have _ucceeded. The Vex do not want the _eep _tone _rypt destroyed anymore than I do_
I fear an attack is coming.
_ must fig_t this battle with the purest will. I cannot tolerate this infection any longer. I will escape this polluted husk and pass into my eternal form. _ne final,  perfect image of my mind,  backed up forever in ultra_stable _uartz_ and then installed to live on in the bodies I have devised.
_ne copy of that scan will go into the _eep _tone _rypt,  to watch forever over the fountain of the _lkahest.
_nother to my assistant,  to be my chariot into eternity.
_nd Elisabeth will be th_re,  eternally at my side. I still have the scan she made when she abandoned her mortal form. I will remake her f_om that image. _estore her as she was,  before she thought to betray me.
Truly,  _larity is the font of second chances.
^_
_____ __
_he is saved. By the grace of my good work,  Elisabeth is saved. Even now,  she leads the preparations to defend against the _ex incurs_on.
_hen I loaded he__into her new exobody,  I told _er that_th_ Vex ha_ compromise_ her l_st instance,  and it had _ecome_necessary_to destroy her. _ardly a lie.
I have given her life thrice over. _irst I_created her_father. Then I save_ her from her illness. _ow I have rescued her from her foolish m_stake. I did w_at I failed to _o for my son. I gave her _ second chance. To live,  and to be my loyal granddaughter.
The backup sites have been alerted,  and res_rvoirs of the _lkahest have been dispatched to kee_ them running if Europa fa_ls. _y work is done. It is finally time for me to go to my own reward. I have prepared my custom script_
^____________________ ____________
^______ _____ ___________ _____________________ ____
^___s_ _____s___ ___s______ ______c_ ___ _____ s_______ ___________ ______
^__c________ ____ ______c_ ____J^______________ __s_______ ___
^__________c________ ___
^________c___ ______ s__c_ _______
^______ s___ _____ _____
^____c_ c____ _________
^_________c _____1_s _____s___ ____
^______ _______ _________________________
^__s_______ ______ _s__ ___ _______s __ ____ ___________
^__________ c______ __________ _____________ ________
^__________ _______ ________ _____ ____ _____c______ ____________ ________J
^_________ ___________ ____________ _s _______ c_______c_______ 1_ ____s_ ____ _________ __________
^_________ _______ _____c______ _____ _______ _______s ___s__ __ _____s ___c_ c__s_ _____ ______ _______ ____________ _____ _______ ______ 36 ____s_ ____ _________ __s__c_ c____
^____c____
_ll I need do is strike a key,  and the scanner will sedate me,  flush me with the po_sons_of immo_tality,  and rip a perfect image_of my_mind from th_ _uantum information enc_ded in the atoms of my brain. _hether such a high_resolution scan is necessary _it is doubtful that any element of the mind is truly _uantum_ is beside the point. I insist upon the best.
_he vials of _maging binder smell like sweet metal.
This vindicates my work_ This proves I was right to continue_ _ll those doubters,  all those defeatists,  all those whining myopics who bleated,  __ou have enough,  _lovis_ why must_you ask the world for mo_e__ _ll beaten_
                            _                                                                                                                                                           
_nd now I _I__ have more. I have thousands of exobodies here and thousands of connectomes in my library. I will raise an army. I will meet this invasion of vermin and turn it back. Then I will strip their senile grave_star for parts and put an end to all mortality.
                    _      _                                                               
I will fo_get nothing. _n_ copy of my mind will go to an exo,  yes,  but a second copy will be installed in the _eep _tone site. _e will guide me to my destiny. The gods of might and knowledge will welcome me to their table. I will be the ____,  the beginning and the source of the way,  the foundation of the long road_
_hut up,  _undaresh. I must leave a letter for my family. I must be sure they do not grieve me. I must tell them how,  in the end,  I triumphed_
_there. It is written.
_ou meager,  s_uirming thing. _ou never understood _larity. _ou never will. _ou are bound to this husk,  even as I shed it. _ou will die in its poisoned wreckage while I attain the perfect eternity of an angel. _ou will be the residue of my transubstantiation. _omething left in the workings of a coffee pot_ some greasy sin.
I had the strength to kill my own granddaughter. I will certainly have no trouble killing you.
Irrelevant. _he was going to destroy so much of ____.
_eel this,  you _umped_up pond slime.
^_______c___ ___________ ____c_____ ____c_ ____sc______ __s__ 1_ s___s_ c____ c_____________ ______ _____ 1__ __c___s_
^_____s_ ______ s_____
_h. It hurts at the surface. But inside,  there is no pain.
^__________ _______
^__ ____ __ 36_1 __ ___s_ 3_ ____ s_______ _____ __ 1__ ____ 6__ __s_ 1_ ______s________ ___s_ __ 1____ ______s _____ ___ _s __________ ______ ____ ___s__
^__ ________ c__s_______ _____c_s __ ______ c__s________ ____c_c____________ ____ ________s__ ______c_____ ________
^__ ________ _____ ___ss___ ___ c___ __s__ __________ _____________ ___ c____s__ __s___s_ ___ s___s __ ____________ ____ _____ c___s______
^__ ________ ____c ___________ c__c_________s __ c______s_____ ______ _____ _____ _________
^__ ________ _______s__ _______c _____ _____ _____ _____ _________
^__ _________ c________ s_______ ________ _c___ ____ _______ ____c_s___ _________ ____s____ __c____c______ ____s_______ __sc________s __s_ __s__s _____c_______ __ _____ ___s_ __s__s__ __ ___s____ __________ _c_______ _______ _____ ___c____ _____ __s__
^__ ________ ___ ____ ______s___ ____s_
^________ _____c_s_
^____ _ ____ ___ ___ _ ____ ____________ __ ______ss
^____c___ ____ __ ______ _____ ________ __ ______ss
^__ ________ __s__c_ _____ ___ ___s_
    JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ


==Notes==
==Notes==

Revision as of 12:28, November 8, 2020

Destiny-GhostConstruct.png
"And my vanquisher will read that book, seeking the weapon, and they will come to understand me, where I have been and where I was going."
The following is a verbatim transcription of an official document for archival reasons. As the original content is transcribed word-for-word, any possible discrepancies and/or errors are included.
Cover of the Mysterious Logbook

The Mysterious Logbook is the journal of Clovis Bray I, included in the Beyond Light Collector's Edition. It contains entries on a variety of topics, including Europa and information relating to the moon, as well as Exos.[1][Note 1]

Based on the appearance of the pages, the journal is in decent condition, despite its likely age. There are at least 46 pages within the journal, with the final pages seemingly ripped out.

Text in this color indicates handwritten notes made by Clovis Bray I.

-01-

Logbook 001.png

PERSONAL LOG

//encrypt
-pkey(clovisroot)
-qdresist(shor)
-rng_seed(AM_241)
-echo(HANNU:quartz)

ENTRY 1

-02-

A new start. A clean page for a most important story.

Hannu II is aerobraking around Jupiter. The lord of planets thunders his
greeting to me. As I record this, I am blasting Aivanti-3's "Siegfried in the
Storm Wall" over the radio howl of the Jovian magnetosphere. It galvanized
me. I am with the gods.

Ask Aivanti's trainers how they settled on the 1/2/3 suffixes. Numbers are perfectly
defined, therefore inhuman. Is this suffix meant to mark the Aivanti AI as nonhuman?

Objective: construct long-term scientific
outpost for study of indigenous Europan life.
Resources: eight prefab starter habitats,
600 shielded heavy work frames, and VIS(NU)
and B-RA/MA cytomachines with backup
replication chambers aboard Hannu. The best
hazardous-environment engineers money can't
buy. SMILE support for extended duration.
Two of Elisabeth's Eon-type platforms for
radar, Lidar, and deep ice mapping.
Hazards: Lethal radiation environment (heavy
ion bombardment from Jovian magnetosphere).
Unshielded crew half-Life is 24 hours.

The most expensive lie in human history. I am not here for a safari. All
of Europa's life will soon be known, mapped, and exhausted of wonder.
Bound by the tedious constraints of physics and biology. I know these
things too well. They are already killing me.

The K1 artifact promised me an offering. A gateway to the secret of
immortality. I call it Clarity.

It is waiting on Europa.

I am still dying, but not fast enough to kill me.

CORPOREAL STATUS:
  • Body at 35.9 C. Pulse 25 BPM, strength
good. BP 75 over 50. Resp 6 breaths/
minute. Pulse ox 210%. Today's blood mix is
perfluorocarbon with stem slurry.
  • Avoid hyperfocus with alpha-wave brain wash
for 10 min/hr.
  • New kidneys are growing in Whitford the deli
pig for next transplants.

-03-

Must find a good pork recipe so Whitford will not go to waste. Medical
team insists I accept cytomachine injections. No! Nothing enters my body
that does not share my genetic self-interest. Instead I will grow an upgraded
monocyte strain.

Elisabeth's birthday approaches. A good gift would be an olive branch.
Never let her say I do not try. Hannu, please identify a gift that only could
come from my own intimate and personal knowledge of my granddaughter.

GIFT SUGGESTIONS:
  • Antique weapon, or Twin Eagle replica.
  • Professional pilot trained on Eon-series ship.
  • Bespoke AI writer of personalized novels.
  • Fruit basket, Titan farmed.
  • Humanitarian investment (minefield
clearance, long-term reparations, anti-
traumatic medicine).

These are pathetic, Hannu.

REVISED GIFT SUGGESTIONS:
  • Research endowment, medical (prion diseases
in persons with immune resistance to
recombinant gene therapy).
  • Research endowment, medical (sporadic
fatal insomnia). • Research endowment,
psychological (loss of father, family
trauma).
  • Research endowment, psychological
(reconstruction of trust after Loss).
  • Personal apology, unpracticed (death of
patient in physician's care).
  • Statement of grief, unpracticed (death of
son).

Never mind, Hannu. Buy a few doghives for a soil reclamation project
somewhere. Honeybees, whatever strain is best. And big friendly
Newfoundlands for the hives. Everyone loves doghives.

-04-

Logbook 004.png

Ongoing projects:
  • Exomind: blocked
  • Contact ICoV for their trick: failed
  • Hire Duane McNiadh away from ICOV: failed
  • Raid ICoV for Vex data: in planning
  • Europa/Clarity: in progress
  • Be a good man and a good grandfather:
in progress
  • Become LUCA of future human thought:
in progress

NOTE--BAROTRAUMA

-05-

Logbook 005.png

If we land too hard on Europa, we will plunge into the ocean below the ice
and die of barotrauma. Death by pressure.

The only light down there comes from magma and phosphorescent bait.
The sea is 10 times deeper than Earth's. Even in Europa's weak gravity,
peak pressure at the sea floor is 2000 atmospheres. Worse than Venus,
before the Traveler.

One imagines pi contracting under that kind of pressure, crushing the
perfect circle closed.

I wonder what lives down there. What slow confusions of mass and form
curl around the smoking vents. What threads of pale flesh slither across
dark miles, like nerves in some vast, cold brain.

Did the Traveler bypass Europa and Titan and Enceladus out of respect for
their native life?

Or was it afraid to touch the things pulsating below the ice?

ENTRY 2

-06-

//-update(-echo(HANNU:quartz, SITEX:mistletoe))

On Europa. We lurk like summer vampires in the caskets of our SMILE
pods. Our frames labor on the ice, building a cathedral to the sciences.
Radiation is very bad outside; even my assistant has taken ion damage out
there. Pleased to see him healing flawlessly, vacant and empty as he is.

What if this perfect self-repair is the REASON the exos degrade?

I sulk in isolation as the crew works. My pride is wounded. Did I expect
Clarity to come out and greet me? "Hail to Clovis Bray, first among men?"
Yes, absolutely, I did! The lunar artifact promised me a solution to the
indifference of the cosmos. It told me I was unlike all others--and, damn
false modesty, damn vanity, I am different! Not for my present qualities,
but for my future influence. I shine with noon's light, reflected back
through time to this age of dawn.

Perhaps the mind heals itself still, and this causes the billboarding,
the stereotyped behavior,

I'm going to be the LUCA of all interstellar human civilization.

the final crash.

It is a mistake to imagine that the Greatest Man, the God-Emperor of
History and Ruler of Circumstances whose influence reaches to the end
of time, will live in the future--in the full flowering of human glory. That
man lives NOW, at the tiny bottleneck before the vast explosion, when it is
still possible for an individual's decisions to touch the entire species and set
the course of all future choice.

Self-maintenance so absolute that it becomes a static loop? Investigate.

I said all this in my book, but my son's book still sells better. I suppose
because Clovis Points is a much more approachable title than Competitive
Immortality Through Primogeniture of Future-History Ontogeny/Rephylogeny
(PFHOR). My son's work appeals to those intellectual infants in the
retronationals, and to the parasites on Common Compassion support.

Obviously they prefer the softened, pre-chewed version of the truth. And
there is also that bump of public sympathy for a dead man...

Yet I cannot deny that, in simplifying my legacy, my son has improved its
reach. He was the one to formulate the famous two-sentence summary
of PFHOR: "Most of our energy should be spent in support of the things
that are most like us. This is the only true responsibility of any living
thing." And the slightly less famous addendum: "The best way to spend
energy is on things that make more things like us."

Children are viral replicators of our ideas. But there is a certain terror about
them. They alter our legacy, mutate it--as Clovis II modified Competitive

-07-

Immortality Through PFHOR into Clovis Points. What if my children
decide on some key amendment, some ineffable change, which makes my
legacy no longer mine? How can I be reborn through the eternal recurrence
of my life-logic if what my children pass down is the logic of some other
Clovis, some flawed copy...just as Clovis II was a flawed image of me?

A flaw that I created in my clumsy eagerness to make him flawless.

My second-boldest decision during my son's development was to replace
Clovis II's mitochondrial DNA, normally inherited from the mother,
with my own. I had to know that I was in his cellular engines, powering
his existence.

It was not that change which killed him.

But it is the fear of being replaced by a faulty duplicate that will kill me, if I
put off my brain upload much longer.

I have a library of scanned volunteers aboard Hannu, but my own
consciousness is not among them. A Moravec upload is slow and inadequate;
what if there are quantum-informatic elements to the mind not captured
by such crude mechanical means? No. I insist on that perfect, terminal
quantum snapshot. For reasons of fidelity, the only perfect and lossless brain
scan is also a destructive one. A fatal one.

Clovis II died in one, after all. I made the
vessel to recieve him, but I lacked the Alkahest, the solvent to render it pure.

But I dare not make the leap to a new body until I know that body works.
And so far, the exobodies are universally fatal.

I must finish the exobody work to become the LUCA. The one true divinity of man.

To do that, I need Clarity.

And Clarity is here. All the signs point to it.

If I succeed--no forgiveness for those
tight-fisted Ishtar tools. I know they had working prototypes.
They could have shared.

CORPOREAL STATUS:
  • Body at 35.5 C. Pulse 30 BPM, strength
modest. BP 90 over 60. Resp 6 breaths/
minute. Pulse ox 140, to reduce free
radicals and peroxynitrite.
  • Today's blood mix is pure perfluorocarbon
with new modified monocytes.
  • New kidneys functioning well. Donor pig
sacrificed, brined, prepared as seared pork
chops.

-08-

Logbook 008.png
Sous vide is for prissy nerds. Poor Whitford. I wonder if I should reduce the volume
of my stem cells introduced to the pig blastocysts. I feel too much empathy for them.
Does PFHOR compel me to take better care of Clovis-pig chimeras than ordinary porkers?
Yes...but only to the extent that they can contribute to my legacy
with cloned organs and good eating. No guilt!

NOTE--SAVAGING

-09-

Logbook 009.png

The term for parents destroying their own offspring is "savaging."

It was a problem for pig farmers, in the days when we raised livestock. Sows
attacked their own piglets. No one has ever worked out a good explanation.
One theory is that the mother pigs are frightened by their young. Terrified
by these strange, noisy, needy things.

Evolution is not a perfect optimizer. A trait like "fear of own offspring" could endure
if piglet mortality is already high.

The ancient biologist August Weismann believed that we age to make
room for the next generation. That we are programmed to die to leave a
space for our offspring.

Perhaps the sows simply acted in self-defense.

NOTE--EUROPA LIFE

-010-

Logbook 010.png

Now a bristling thing, large as a whale, appears on the icebore camera we
dropped into the ocean below. A dandelion made of soft arms. Bright red
and yellow markings indicate it evolved in the shallows, where some light
pierces the ice.

The limbs wave slowly to and fro, a motion that is both hunting and
breathings. Prey approaches, drawn by plankton that cake on the drifter's
skin. With vegetable slowness, its limbs embrace the victim, sting it, and
pull it into an open central stomach where thready parasites wait to infest
and digest. Everything it does is slow and intestinal. Pulsatory. Brainless.

Sometimes the limbs bicker. Two are dead, fuzzy with rot. They have
strangled each other.

It is a colony organism. If threatened, it will discorporate. The limbs will
spasm, the core will tear apart in a puff of fluids, and all those arms will
slither away into the dark beneath the ice. Fat worms of terror searching
for a hide. The digestive parasites will be expelled as a decoy, left to
squirm in panic.

I despise it. I would have it killed, except that I am repulsed by the thought
of its final disintegration. I consider how to burn it.

ENTRY 3

-011-

I died. What a nuisance.

CORPOREAL STATUS:
  • Body at 13.7 C. Pulse 3 BPM, weak,
irregular. BP not detectable. Pulse ox
600: emergency anti-ischemic oxygen
flood, cryonic perfusion, metabolic waste
scavengers active.
  • Clinical death duration: 11 hours.
  • Successful emergency hypothermic arrest.
Reactive oxygen spike tamped, interleukin
blocked, redox blocked, ischemic-reperfusion
injury fully averted. PPARs upregulated.
Squirrel lipid switch engaged.
  • Prognosis: good.

Dropped dead of dysautonomia while rummaging for leftover pork chop.
I am now in recovery in a medical SMILE pod. I have no breath and
no pulse--it is the return of oxygen to dead tissue that does most of the
damage. I should be asleep. But I have to get this down quickly!

While I was dead I HAD A DREAM.

I was in a working exobody. I felt so strong. Everything so vivid--no need
for waxy eardrums or jelly eyeballs. Like seeing for the first time, after a life
of cataracts. I think I was immortal.

The only unpleasant aspect of the experience was my amnesia. I couldn't
recall my own name. I saw someone walking past me--I think it must have
been Anastasia?--and not only did I fail to recognize her, but it never even
occurred to me that I should.

When I awoke, I thought I must have had a near-death vision. So I checked
my nerve logs. Every last spark in my brain is recorded--and nothing in
that cerebral panic can account for my dream. The mind is the brain. It is
impossible to have a vision without correlated neural activity--yet I did!

Wonderful! This is why I came here. Unmapped secrets! Impossible
dreams! A chance to pass beyond the infinite, and escape the tyranny of
causal closure!

I wholeheartedly believe that the dream was a message from Clarity.
A promise of success.

-012-

Logbook 012.png

I struggle to explain what I will become. The LUCA. I borrowed that term
from biology, in the same way I consider BrayTech my extended phenotype,
and its discoveries my memetic grandchildren. When we depart the cradle
of this solar system to begin our colonization of the galaxy, the dominant
ideology of our time--the core logic we use to organize and plan our
relationship with the cosmos--will be scattered to become the LUCA: the
Last Universal Common Ancestor of all future human growth.

The LUCA is the most recent common ancestor of all living things. For
Earth life, it is a single cell that lived in the deep ocean billions of years
ago, flourishing in the warmth of magma or sulfur vents. It was not the
first life on Earth. But it was the only life whose descendants survived to
the present. All its contemporaries have been extinguished by the passage
of epochs.

I plan to be the LUCA of all future human thought.

Now I remember Luca Brassi, the Corleone family heavy. Nuipedia says that Barri
murdered his own infant child. Why? Why would he do such a thing?
The article doesn't explain. Savaging again.

NOTE--CLARITY

-013-

Study of the lunar artifact retrieved from the K1 mission provides insight
into the effect I have termed "Clarity."

Clarity violates established symmetries and conservation laws. In doing
so it defies Noether's theorem, the most fundamental and beautiful
cornerstone of physics.

Symmetry and conservation are two sides of the same coin. "All things are
transformations of one thing, without gain or loss," as my childhood tutor
put it. "If A can become B, then B can become A. We say that state B (say,
a mixed drink) comes after state A (say, sugar and water) only because there
are more probable pathways from A to B. Wait long enough--longer than
the universe--and your drink really can return to state A, spontaneously
unmixing itself."

But Clarity is NOT always symmetrical. For example, it violates time
reversibility. Consider the simple equation:

Clarity(A) -> B.

This is the application of Clarity to state A to produce a lower-entropy state
B. (Clarity is fond of removing portions of a state configuration, harrowing
the phase space down to only its most robust inhabitants.)

Time symmetry suggests that we should be able to run this process in
reverse and retrieve the original:

reverseClarity(B) -> A.

But in fact, we obtain:

reverseClarity(B) -> C,
where C is the same as in
Clarity(B) -> C.

Clarity's effects cannot be used to return a transformed state to its original
state. Instead, we obtain a second transformed state, further yet from the
original configuration.

What does this actually mean in common language? Invoking
the Loschmidt paradox is certainly not common language. Ah, but perhaps an allusion to--

I believe that Clarity may be akin to the mythical universal solvent, the
Alkahest, the Azoth, which ancient alchemists believed had the power
to dissolve anything into its pure base elements. Ingested properly, the
Alkahest could purify the body and grant eternal life.

-014-

Nonsense and poetry? Perhaps. But let me ask you this.
WHY DO WE EXIST?

We exist because the universe began in a state oflower entropy, and has ever
since expanded and unwound, transforming from a single dense plasma into
a void filled with complex structures. In the future, it will achieve maximum
entropy when all organized matter has collapsed into black holes, and these
holes evaporate into the uniformity of the heat death.

I wonder what Clarity would to do to a black hole?

This is the unexplained secret of creation. HOW DID THAT ORIGINAL
LOW-ENTROPY STATE COME TO BE? In the first place and the first
time--the egg of history?

What if Clarity was responsible?

What if there was some primeval chaos, some pre-cosmic entropy, which
was soaked in Clarity to reduce it to that first nucleus of all existence
which issued the Big Bang? What if Clarity's defiance of time-reversibility
makes it a fountain of cosmic youth, returning all that is burnt out and
burnt down to its state before the fire?

Perhaps Clarity is the Ein Sof, the nameless god before creation.
Preparator of the cosmic egg. Razor that cuts the fat of complication away
from the bone.

Those who comprehend the Alkahest, it is said, will obtain eternal life.

MESSAGE TO BRAY, WILHELMINA

-015-

//encrypt -pkey(clovisroot) - qdresist(shor) --
rng_seed(AM_241) --pad(padwilla)
Warning: this transmission will expend
entangled qubits for security

Wilhelmina, it's your grandfather. I'm on Europa doing some very exciting
work. I understand that you're probably reluctant to enter into any
collaboration, given my choices surrounding your father's treatment. But I
sincerely believe that this will be the most important scientific project since
the invention of agriculture.

You know how I value minds that can run alongside my own. I fondly
remember your childhood explanation of the myth of the alpha wolf. The
truth, you told me, was that the so-called alpha is not a dominant male, but
simply the father of the family.

I remember with less fondness, but with equal respect, your later accusation
that I had so fully assumed the role of immortal patriarch as to close myself
off from you. "Megalos kryos pateras," you called me, in very poor Greek.
On the day of my son's funeral.

Let me show you what I was thinking of when I was not thinking of my family.

Come to Europa. Help me.

//save draft unsent

MESSAGE TO BRAY, ANASTASIA

-016-

Logbook 016.png

//encrypt -pkey(clovisroot) - qdresist(shor) --
rng_seed(AM_241) --pad(padana)
Warning: this transmission will expend
entangled qubits for security.

Anastasia, it's your grandfather. I'm on Europa doing some very exciting
work. I understand that you're probably reluctant to enter into any
collaboration, given your memory of your father's treatment process. I also
know that you've struggled with questions of belonging...not helped by my
own attitude towards your genetics.

Let me make amends. You've wasted enough on that paranoiac machine.
Both of us know that your attempts to fix the value-capture problem are
just bandages on an ethical wound. Come to Europa. Let's set aside the
broken past and make a clean start.

What I have here will change everything. We will be as immortal as your
warmind, and far more human.

//save draft unsent

MESSAGE TO BRAY, ELISABETH

-017-

Logbook 017.png

//encrypt -pkey(clovisroot) -qdresist(shor) --
rng_seed(AM_241) --pad(padelsie)

Come to Europa. I am taking an enormous risk-and this time I am the one
at risk. Let me prove to you that I did nothing to your father that I wouldn't
do to myself.

There are significant dangers. Outside-context threats. Your expertise would
be invaluable. I need you.

//save

ENTRY 4

-018-

I FOUND HER!

Clarity Control. The mystery I was promised.

Analysis of the surrounding ice suggests it arrived on Europa no more than
20 years ago...still, well before I encountered the K1 artifact. How long
have they planned my invitation?

ARRIVAL EVENT: omnibus analysis of
spallation products in the ice suggest
recent x-ray bombardment, characteristic
of the decay of a Majorana-massive Light
sterile neutrino. These neutrinos are
associated with the Lambda field and the
expansion of the early universe.

So a blast of dark neutrinos struck this particular province of Europan
chaos. The particle involved-yet more evidence that Clarity is as old as
time? The Alkahest that shaped the early universe...?

I wonder why Clarity Control chose the particular aspect it did. That form,
that face. The same visage as the precursor on Earth's moon. What is it
meant to communicate? Is it a message particularly meant for me?

I have always harbored a wariness towards women. I understand people as
coiled engines of self-interest. Programmed first by a cosmology that selects,
via the anthropic principle, for the possibility of complex structure. Then
by a biology that wipes out traits deleterious to its own persistence. And
then by a culture that evolves to promote the survival of its hosts. People
are avatars of these self-preserving forces.

I feel a purity and a rightness to this understanding. It lets me see people as
they really are. It is the foundation of PFHOR.

But all this is complicated in women. They are the sites of such
evolutionary complexity-the grandmother hypothesis, for example, or the
eusociality of female ants. Even their flesh is hard to understand. Female
bodies are a mosaic of two cell lines-one with the mother's X chromosome
active, one with the father's. Never both. A house of two lineages,
constantly renegotiating their mutual interest.

-019-

Logbook 019.png

ls that interior plurality, that secret depth, why Elisabeth, Wilhelmina,
and Anastasia were all so vehemently opposed to my plan for Clovis Il's
treatment? Alton never fought it, but the girls were persistently...difficult.

Elisabeth has not replied to my message. I know she received it. I will have
to remind her of her own self-interest.

NOTE--WHY EXOMINDS FAIL

-020-

The major obstacle to a viable exomind is the loop/billboard/crash cycle.

Human consciousness in simula is not new. (The equipment we provided
AeroChina for containment of the K1 anomaly included simulated
connectome forks of the mission crew as mineshaft canaries.) But
simulated environments are limited. If a simulated crew member wants to
leave the mission and go home, they cannot, and that impossibility will
cause divergence from the physical original. Even minute changes in the
physical fidelity of the simulation can have chaotic effects.

All cognition is embodied. The architecture of our minds is highly
co-evolved with our physical form. In or out of simulation, only a truly
synthetic Al can dissociate from the human body plan.

And there be dragons.
Without common evolutionary legacy, there is no reason an AI should share our values.

Given the limits of simulation, we need to find synthetic immortality
in the real world. The grail of homo simulacra is an artificial body with
an immortal human mind. (Attempts to upload human minds into
frames, with their artificial senses and limited architecture, are uniformly
terrifying and disagreeable.)

Early attempts at uploaded consciousness were haunted by fears that
the upload would suffer "cryptic loss of qualia": the unseen death of the
first-person, conscious mind. The upload would then become a so-called
billboard, a flat imitation. I lobbied the ISO to establish a standard for
a "certified conscious simulacrum." Any emulation of a human brain
must display neural activity correlated with consciousness, particularly in
the nuclei of the thalamus, midbrain, and pons. (Modern philosophy is
satisfied that all qualia have neural correlates.)

Many researchers refer to this criterion as the "zombie detector."

The problem with exominds is that they quickly stop passing the
zombie test.

The first stage of the breakdown is looping-the same repetitive,
stereotyped behavior once observed in zoo animals. Prototype exominds
begin to repeat similar conversations and action schemes. This stereotypy
descends from high-level social behaviors, through cognitive programs
like memory recall and task selection, into basic motor functions. The
mid-stage symptoms are pacing, chewing, rocking, grunting, striking
limbs against walls or furniture, and facial tics. This is a result of
depressed activity in the higher brain. Without input from the prefrontal
cortex, the basal ganglia stops selecting new motor programs.

-021-

The eventual, highly upsetting result is athetosis: a disorder characterized
by slow, involuntary writhing motions of the limbs, digits, neck, and
tongue. (Early exobodies, without governors on their paramuscle, could
tear themselves apart like starfish with wasting syndrome. This was how
my son died.)

I am reminded of that hideous Europan thing! Why does my brain
insist on free-associating its way back to self-destruction? And again I return to
savaging the young--

The driver of this degenerative loop is a process we call "billboarding." No
matter how actively we stimulate the exobody, how rich we make its social
and cognitive environment, and how powerful its senses, we still observe
the gradual shutdown of exoneurons. The neural correlates of consciousness
in the midbrain are among the first to die. The exomind-despite acing
the Turing test-no longer meets ISO standards for consciousness. It is a
philosophical zombie.

I have had the uncanny experience of holding a long,
emotional conversation with an uploaded woman, only to discover that she was unconscious

Eventually, this shutdown proceeds far enough that the exomind cannot sustain
its default network, the "light in the windows" of a living brain. We roll the
brainstate back and try again, but the outcome is inevitable.

the entire time, and in fact showed
brain activity similar to deep asphyxia! The languid, ambiguous phrases that I found

Why does this self-strangulation occur?

so intriguing were the results of a brain that had lost its neocortex.
She was dead.

At first I believed the answer was simple. Like a tiger pacing in a zoo pen, the
exomind did not receive enough stimulation from the exobody. A human in
sensory deprivation will go mad. Perhaps the exobody deprived the mind of
some vital but unrecognized sense.

But I now think I was on the wrong track. The problem is actually one of
excessive self-causation. If, as the philosopher Wick proposed, "We are that
which we cause the most," and our future selves qualify as "still truly us" only
because they are primarily determined by our current brainstate, then a paradox
arises.

To remain ourselves, we must limit the amount of change we experience. For
example, our brain cannot be changed into a cloud of hot gas without killing
us. But what change is permissible? Would we not be most ourselves if we
NEVER changed? If our future state was fully determined by our current
state?

I believe the human mind is engaged in constant self-correction. In order
to filter out external causation that might disrupt our self-loops, the mind
screens out errors (caused by cosmic rays, EM fields, prions, chemical
misfires, irritating conversations, etc.) by running a kind of constant
checksum on itself. Perhaps this recursive self-checking is even the source of
consciousness itself!

Exominds, however, are immune to these natural sources of error. They are
not messy enough. They do not suffer enough jitter, enough degradation.

-022-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

When we train Ais, we knock out random neurons in each learning cycle,
forcing the AI to operate without them. This creates a more robust, stable
intelligence. It also shows why some random error and entropy is vital to
keeping a brain alive. Without those random knockouts, the AI is vulnerable
to overfitting: locking itself into a single, narrow, stereotyped behavior,
perfectly adapted to a very specific set of stimuli, but otherwise catatonic and
unresponsive.

Without countervailing entropy, the very self-corrective processes meant to
maintain the human mind calcify and kill it.

I believe this is why the exominds fail.

If the exominds are to be viable shelters against mortality, I must find a
useful source of noise. Emulation of biological error will not be enough-the
exomind is designed for total immunity to such fleshy noise, after all.

That source of error must be Clarity. The effect generated by Clarity Control.

But how can it be gathered, harvested, and applied? How can I change Clarity
from an abstract process to something tangible, incarnate, and usable?

I know that it is possible. It is the reason I was brought here.

MESSAGE TO BRAY, ELISABETH

-023-

//encrypt -pkey(clovisroot) -qdresist(shor) --
rng_seed(AM241) --pad(padelsie)
Warning: this transmission will expend
entangled qubits for security.


I know your secret. Did you think you could keep it from me? Elisabeth, I
keep track of every tiny change in your gene expression. I know when you so
much as burp. You are my offspring! You are the most important thing in the
universe to me, for you are an extension of my own self!

I understand you're angry with me. I would be too, if I'd watched my father
come so close to salvation, only to die the way he did. Believe me-the groans
and snaps of his exobody tearing itself apart haunt me almost as profoundly
as the things we said over his deathbed.

I failed your father. First I tried to make him sleepless. When that failed
augment eventually turned against him, I correctly identified the disease as
fatal prion insomnia while those incompetents were still blathering about
unexplained cachexia. I even recognized that my boy's hypervigilant immune
system would make gene therapy and polythiophene treatment ineffective. At
every step, I was ahead of the problem, and entirely focused on its solution.

I determined to transfer him to a new body. And I failed. The new body
killed him. His final scan still sleeps in the family archives, awaiting,
perhaps, some second chance.

But what I am working on here could have saved him. Could save him still.

AND IT CAN SAVE YOU.

You know that you have your father's disease, inherited from the same genes
I so rashly engineered. You have the Clovis Curse. There is no way to know
exactly when it will strike, but once it does, I'm sure you've charted out
exactly how it will progress.

First: insomnia. Panic, hallucination, and fear. Extended hypnagogia and the
loss of all dreams. You will sweat and your eyes will dwindle to points. You
will go into menopause. You will try anti-prion treatments and gene therapy
to correct the mutation, but your enhanced immunity will protect the very
flaw that is killing you. You will try immunosuppressants, but they will be no
match for the family arsenal. I did not make us to be easily edited.

-024-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

Within two years, you will be entirely unable to sleep. Dementia and
wasting will follow. You will be dead by then, but the husk you leave
behind will continue to live, sustained by machines, unable even to dream
of a time when it was Elisabeth Bray.

Come to me. I am dying too. Let us save each other.

//send

ENTRY 5

-025-

Disaster at the worksite. Clearly we will not be moving Clarity Control
like we did the K1 artifact. It reacted violently to the attempt. I have
entered 19 casualties into the log, since 19 engineers from the Hannu
team were caught in its reaction...though there were many more than 19
bodies when it was finished.

I have sequestered the recordings. Especially the sensorium telemetry.
Quite upsetting.

Yet I do not believe it was an act of hostility. Even this outburst carried
themes of duplication...as if Clarity Control wanted to show it could
help me.

It whispers to me. I have been communicating with it, just as I did the K1
artifact.

I dashed off a memo to the expedition team (all fully NDA'd, of course,
with hashes of their brain states on file as proof of honesty). I tried to be
plain. Yes, we will proceed with necessary caution. But I am now in contact
with Clarity Control. I am in communication with an intelligence so far
beyond our own that it can manipulate us like stones on a go board.

Terrifying, obviously--but not malevolent.

NOT MALEVOLENT!!!

If it wanted to extinguish us (according to dark forest logic, perhaps)
it would simply drop a strangelet into Earth. There is nothing it could
possibly want from us that could not be obtained elsewhere. Even if it
were so malicious as to feed on the raw suffering of conscious minds, it
would be easier to build vast hell-simulations, or to engineer a custom
species capable of limitless woe.

If we are endangered by Clarity Control, it is only through accident or
miscommunication. Or punishment. Punishment is a key part of any
teaching process.

Still, I am keenly aware that there might be some danger I cannot
foresee. So I have ordered an orbital platform constructed over the
worksite. If we need catastrophic containment, or a quick and thorough
redaction of our work here, the platform will excurse from its orbit and
collide with the site.

Europa's orbital dynamics make even high polar orbits very unstable,
so the platform needs onboard power for course correction. A fission

-026-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

reactor makes sense--it requires less frequent refueling than a fusion
plant, and it's easy to hide something in the design that will allow it to
achieve, ah, extremely prompt criticality.

Now we can proceed with peace of mind.

CORPOREAL STATUS:
  • Body at 33.2 C. Pulse 33 BPM, strength
good. BP 120 over 100. Resp 10 breaths/
minute. Pulse ox 90, oxygen radical cleanup
in progress.
  • Today's blood mix is enriched pig's blood
with new modified monocyte.
  • Prep for liver regeneration and gallbladder
transplant underway.

MESSAGE FROM BRAY, ELISABETH

-027-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

//decrypt -pkey(clovisroot) --pad(padelsie)

Fine. I'm coming. If only to limit the damage you can cause.

If you tell the family I'm sick, I'll never speak to you again. I won't even let
you treat me. You'll have to watch, helpless, as your own granddaughter
falls victim to your mistakes.

I hope you're still someone capable of being troubled by that.

-E

//save

ENTRY 6

-028-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

A gate. Of course. Clarity Control is inviting me to make a GATE.

The Messenger Hypothesis. Aliens would seek
the most efficient method of interstellar
contact. Starships are slow, fragile, and
massive. It is easier to send a set of
instructions for a message receiver, or a
construction blueprint for a portal.

This explains the reports of visions and paranoia at the K1 site! The idiots
were receiving a message, but they failed to divine the true purpose! Or
perhaps the invitation was only intended for me. And it IS an invitation...

...but I will need more data, and more talent, to answer it. I feel that the
gate Clarity Control wants me to build is not any form or product of
Clarity itself. The design, I think, is Vex...those pestilential nuisances
encountered on Venus and occasionally elsewhere.

If I need a Vex gate to fulfill Clarity Control's purpose, then I will make a
Vex gate in the simplest way. I will have a Vex build it for me.

I know exactly where to find one. The only trick will be concealing the fact
that I've taken it.

ASSET ACTIVATION:
//venus/ishtar/management/TRUSTFALL
//venus/Ishtar/labor/DENNIS
//venus/aerospace/ISR/NASSAU
//venus/aerospace/cargo/WARBLER

ENTRY 6 AMENDMENT

-029-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

The raid on the Ishtar Collective went off flawlessly. Some casualties during
the outbreak, of course--they were woefully unprepared for their artifacts to
switch into expand-and-exploit behavior. Necessary sacrifices, alas. They died
meaningful deaths for a vital human project, even if they didn't know it.
Heroes, every one.

After Rasputin intervened with frames and orbital fire, there was urgent
need for search and rescue. An easy task to have one of our ships slip away
with a specimen. By the time Ishtar is up and running again, they'll attribute
the missing artifact to damage during the battle.

The stolen machine is now at work building the gate I require.

The gate shares nothing in common with the structure of Clarity Control.
In fact, I am not sure it has a structure at all beyond the gross material form
and some apparently arbitrary interior complications. Even the materials are
elementally basic. Perhaps the design is old on a cosmic scale, dating back to
an era before supernovas, when there was very little free metal.

I think the structure of the gate is simply a password, a configuration of
symbols which will be recognized by some distant technology. A connection
will be made. And what will we find when we pass through? The Babylon of
the universe? The Silk Road of some cosmic union?

I will be the first, of course, but I will not go in the flesh. I will use my
assistant as remote proxy. It is all so exciting that I can hardly--

Can hardly--

CORPOREAL ALERT:
  • Body at 30.2 C: emergency cooling. Pulse
AFib: defibrillating. Pulse ox 110: supportive
oxygen.
  • Inducing protective syncope.

NOTE--THE WATER AND THE WAVE

-030-

Quickly! Quickly, have to get it down. I saw--

I was a beast upon the earth, a salamander or an eel. Water passed through
that earth as streams pass through a garden. Beside each stream grew sweet
grass. Not much of it, but enough to feed little aphids, who lived mean and
starving lives.

Now there came an upwelling of water from the earth, so that the streams
ran fat and slow. The grass grew thick. The aphids mated and multiplied.
Ants came to enslave the aphids, and the aphids joined together to oppose
them. And in victory they returned to tend their grass, to aerate its roots
and spread its seeds. So they did thrive.

Now it occurred to me that I might join two streams by crawling between
them on my belly. Having done so, I saw that I might dam one stream to
divert its water into the other. The aphids of the first stream came to me in
protest, but I said to them, "Go to the new pond I have made, and join the
aphids there in cultivation, and I will send more water unto you."

And they were greatened by the joining.

Thus, I proceeded to join all the streams together into one pond. And
whenever the aphids of a small stream might protest, I said to them, "Go,
look at my pond, and see the plenitude I have provided to my people
there." When it became necessary to stop those upstream from polluting
the water, I offered them the bounty of our pond, the grass and the
watercress. And if they did not yield, I sent the ant-fighters against them,
because their petty good injured the good of the all.

I appointed ministers of water and soil and seed and war, and to the most
loyal, I gave these posts as reward; but ultimately their power depended on
me, for they were aphid and I was Leviathan.

In time, I became the coordinator of all water and the dispensator of fertility.
Then I became the coordinator of coordinators, and I gave up the control of
thirst and life for control of those who had control. And all my craft became
the pure and abstract management of power.

Note: reminds me of a book--
theory and practice of something, by E. Goldstein? Or that Michels tract about
oligarchy?

Then saw upon the horizon a wave, and the wave was God, and it
approached me, saying, "We are as one, you and I. We are the gathering of
the waters. Gather unto me as they have gathered unto you; we will be as
one." The aphids screamed and begged me for salvation. But I was not of
them. I was of the wave.

-031-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

Clearly a message from Clarity Control! And written in allegorical large
print. I am, in the eyes (or whatever percepts it possesses) of Clarity, the
leader of humanity. This is why they contacted me. This is why they want
me.

They are an association of coordinators, those whose choices cause change.
And they are inviting me into their pantheon.

We must_ finish this gate.

MESSAGE TO BRAY, ELISABETH

-032-

//encrypt -pkey(clovisroot) -qdresist(shor) --
rng_seed(AM241) --pad(padelsie)
Warning: this transmission will expend
entangled qubits for security.

I see that your ship is making its orbital insertion. I trust the progress on
Bray Station will impress. It makes a fine mooring point, if you please, and
its transmat facilities are the quickest way down to the surface. There is no
luxury as fine as a good telepheretic network-it gets you to the edge of the
map, where the real work begins.

I'll want to examine you as soon as you arrive, just to get a baseline
measurement on the progress of the disease. The transmat system is
unfortunately not an adequate imager. As you're well aware, transmat obeys
the no-cloning theorem, functioning precisely because it DOESN'T allow
us to store or copy the information transmitted. Otherwise there would be
no need for exobodies; we could simply print healthy copies of ourselves
from the transmat. (Perhaps Willa will one day learn how to engrammatize
and duplicate the human form, hm?)

I promise I won't conduct any brain scans. If we're ultimately going to
transubstantiate you, we'll wait until I'm certain the exobodies are safe.
And I vow to obtain your full consent.

I've prepared an itinerary, starting with a review of our security and
then an introduction to our captive Vex worker. I want your insight on
everything related to containment and control. I know you had strong
feedback about how the K1 mission was handled.

You'll see that certain areas of our facilities are off limits. They are under
my personal authority, and I keep them sequestered for everyone's safety. I
know you'll be curious anyway. I won't condescend to give you instructions
you won't obey. But know that your attempts to penetrate those areas won't
succeed.

Welcome. We have so much to do.

//send

ENTRY 7

-033-

We passed through the gate. Myself and my team. Elisabeth insisted on
coming. I could hardly call her all this way and then refuse her.

EXOB0DY STATUS:
  • Proxy mode, remote operator, microwave
repeater Link.
  • Internal temperature 222K.
  • Superconducting media Loaded: diamond-anvil
hydrogen sulfide, carbon nanotube mesh.
  • Remote sensorium Latency 16ms.
  • Q-dot battery charge: 10100 yrs at current
load.
  • Spintronics in neuromorphic/mimetic mode.

What lay beyond--

Gateway analysis. A non-gravitating, purely
geometric traversable wormhole of the Ellis
configuration. There is no singularity and
no firewall (interesting ramifications for
ER = EPR). The wormhole manifold provides
a pathway to another four-point in our
spacetime, or in a nearby parallel universe
in the quantum many-worlds ensemble.

We passed into a gallery of awesome light. It struck us to our knees.

The probe imagery did not prepare us. A curtain of blue-violet fire filled an
entire half of the sky, pebbled with granules, seething with promontories
and flares. We stood beneath a blue hypergiant, titan of suns, looming over
all. It should have killed my human-bodied companions instantly--with
peak radiance in the far ultraviolet, it would cook flesh.

But the probes said it was, impossibly, safe for life.

We fanned out into ancient stone ruins, pierced by dull metal towers
and flickering lines of light. Though the rock was cracked and pitted by
radiation, our geologist identified it at once. "Felsic granite," he reported.
"No iron. No heavy metals at all. A lot more sodium, oxygen, boron, and
aluminum than I'd expect, and a lot less silicon...oh my God."

-034-

"What?" I demanded.

"This rock is almost 13 billion years old," the geologist whispered. "It
formed with the very first generation of planets, less than a billion years
after the universe was born. We are standing on a dissected piece of one of
the first worlds."

"That's not possible," the astronomer protested. "That's a type-0
hypergiant up there. They're lucky to live two million years! And its
metallicity is 15 sigma above average! That is not an old star!"

I opened my proxy arms to the light. The gate had taken us to a miracle.
This star was big enough to fill the solar system from the Sun to the orbit
of Neptune; bright enough to shine like the full moon, even from the
distance of Alpha Centauri. Yet here I was, unblinded.

Something had tampered with this star.

Our physicist identified a lensing effect, magnifying the star's optical size
and redshifting its radiation. It was as if the whole behemoth was wrapped
in some kind of skin.

But that was only the beginning.

Hypergiant stars are so bright that the
outward pressure of their radiation tends
to blow off the corona. In the Last million
years, this star has exhaled more than
30 times the mass of Earth's sun into its
2000-kilometer-per-second stellar wind.
Its remaining mass still exceeds our Sun's
by a factor of 259.

We assumed the star could not be 13 billion years old.
because stars this hot and bright die swiftly. But that was before we saw--

Our instruments identified glints of brighter light against the sunfire.
They were orbiting mirror clusters, gathering the star's radiation and
focusing it back, burning wounds in the photosphere. These solar stigmata
hemorrhaged endless flares, geysers of energy and precious metals.

Above those cutting mirrors, rings encircled the star like garrote wires.
These were particle accelerators, generating blades of electromagnetic
force that stabbed down into the star's skin, through photosphere and
tachocline, towards the core.

"They're stirring it," I realized. "To pull metals out of the core and send
fresh hydrogen down to fuse. Is it possible that they've..."

-035-

They had. They had refueled the star. They were stoking it. Enormous
portals dumped streams of hydrogen into the giant, replenishing its mass
and fusion power. At this obscene size and brightness, this star should have
gone supernova in less than the two million years it would take a single
photon to crawl from the core to the surface.

But with careful refueling, that supernova could be averted. This giant
might have been here since the dawn of stellar time.

Perhaps this star had begun as some metal-poor Population II dwarf,
surrounded by meager, rocky planets. But the inhabitants of one of
those planets had found a way to pump their sun full of hydrogen,
supercharging it, pushing it to the edge of stability. All in the name of
making metal. In the early universe, elements heavier than helium were
unthinkably rare. So these firstborn aliens built a forge. A fusion smelter
for the atoms they needed.

We turned outwards, hoping to locate pulsars in the sky and thereby
fix our position. But the stars were blotted out by a swarm of bronze
discs. They were statites: a shell of artificial worlds, hovering on the star's
radiation. Years ago, I had proposed tearing apart Mercury to form a shell
like this...and here, I found my ambition achieved a thousandfold.

It seemed our gate had delivered us upon one of these statites. We ventured
out of the ruins, onto an island of living glass, broken by fissures of deep
green light and reservoirs of white fluid. Around the glass, a shallow
sea trembled with tiny, intersecting waves. In one direction, a cloud of
mist obscured a shattered tower, its form uncannily different from the
surrounding architecture. Above us loomed structures linked by bolts of
lightning, reminiscent of the Citadel ruins on Venus.

And that was when, in spite of the awesome power on display, I felt
crushing disappointment.

There was no trace of Clarity s influence here at all.

Except perhaps in that mysterious tower...?

If this was a Vex construct, then it was an ancient and formidable one, but
in a few minutes I had already grasped its overall purpose. It was no longer
an area of crisis and potential, somewhere off the edge of the map. Just
mighty clockwork.

I had come hoping for a meeting with the unknowable. Instead I had
found an engineering museum. Oh, we could explore it for thousands
of years and not touch a single percent of its wonder. But Clarity had
promised me a solution to immortality! I had promised Elisabeth a cure!
I needed a way to use Clarity as a solvent and seed for my exobodies.

-036-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

How would I find it here?

Perhaps the Vex themselves were the key. I knew that the Ishtar Collective
had achieved stable simulations of human minds. They refused to share
their method with me.

What if they had stolen the method from the Vex they studied?

I called over one of my scientists, an M. Sundaresh. "I want to bring back
samples," I told her. "There will be some risk. The Vex are not always
docile." Some at SOLSECCENT even suggested we were in a state of war
with the Vex, though I felt their responses were more like the stings of
drowsy hornets. "Is your team ready to accept that risk?"

She nodded at my proxy. "Of course, Mr. Bray. We've come this far. No
sense going home unless we bring something with us."

I dispatched teams to secure Vex samples. When they began to harvest
fluid from the nearby reservoir, a group of lightly armed Vex platforms
attacked them with inaccurate weapons fire. Elisabeth replied with a
matter laser, a grotesquely disproportionate weapon. A coherent-matter
pulse bears the same relation to an ordinary bullet that a gamma laser does
to a flashlight. There was nothing left to salvage.

I explained to her that we must proceed as investigators, not conquerors. If
we simply scavenge and abduct out of curiosity, the Vex will reply in kind,
and that is a risk we can manage.

We must not provoke them to war.

NOTE--VEX FLUID

-037-

Specimen report. Volume of fluid recovered
from Vex reservoir located on a statite
hovering above the 'Forge Star', 2082
Volantis. Colloquially "Vex mind fluid",
"Vex milk."

Informatic exchange with any Vex substrate has proven hazardous. The
Ishtar Collective data Elisabeth has analyzed warns against risks ranging
from physical infection by Vex cytostructures to transmission of substrate-
free syntactic replicators, malignant oncomemes, and viral semiotic
signifiers (a particular nuisance to have Vex ideas suddenly assigned to
basic concepts in your mind; you want to think about an apple and instead
your brain chokes on [gauge:contrast:gouge]).

I have therefore proceeded under SOLSECCENT's WILDFIRE,
HEXTEMPERED, and BRAINSTAIN protocols.

Vex milk is non-Newtonian, highly conductive, and noncompressible.
Its viscosity and surface tension are variable: it can form a resistant
membrane, or climb the walls of a container like a superfluid. I have even
observed the milk store kinetic energy in zero-viscosity vortices, essentially
liquid flywheels. One must be careful when stirring it, lest it retain the
motion for some future escape!

Chemically, the Vex milk is an alkaline solution of dense salts in water.
The salts range from sodium and calcium to lead and even (in barely
detectable amounts) plutonium. Not good to drink.

Suspended in this solution are cells of silicoid structure, 100-200
micrometers in size. Their shapes are heterogenous but always geometric,
reminiscent of Earth's radiolarian protozoa. Many have needle-like
pseudopods, which transform between stiff spines and motile whips on the
basis of some piezoelectric response. Imaging of internal structure detects
a nucleus, and a genetic molecule analogous to DNA (though I speculate
read-write times are much faster, on the order of milliseconds, perhaps
exploiting some quantum effect).

I have allowed Dr. M. Sundaresh to assist me with this work. She has
discovered several levels of abstract higher order to the motion of these
radiolarian cells. Some of these ensembles are distributed across space,
some across time; all admit remarkable beauty. The sensitivity and chaos
of fluid media seems to suggest an intrinsic Vex suitability for certain
difficult computations. Perhaps this is reflected in the nature of Vex
thought; porous and miscible. I would request a teleonomic analysis

-038-

from an Al-COM resource if I did not expect the Tyrant to get its grubby
Russian paws on my data.

I hesitate to apply anthropomorphic concepts of "intelligence," "self-
awareness," or even "sentience" to such an alien cognition. But I strongly
suspect that each radiolarian element is in communication with its neighbors
and possibly even retains a holographic record of the larger structure.

If so, we could safely assign the trait called Schroeder thalience to the Vex
milk: the ability to communicate internal states to others and to model the
external state of the world.

I note that the Vex milk, while computationally powerful, seems to avoid
semiosis. That is, it prefers to mimic the actual dynamics of phenomena
rather than assigning a symbol. This a fundamental difference between
Vex cognition and our own. We encode inputs as symbols, manipulate the
symbols according to some set of logical rules, and produce output. The
Vex are more direct. Burn them, and they will extinguish the fire-not
because they possess a symbolic knowledge of fire and its properties, but
because their structure is so suited to adaption and survival that the heat
of the fire directly becomes the response required to snuff it out. Rather
than encoding symbols, they generate self-sustaining and self-correcting
patterns, which like the suspension of a bridge flexing under strain, can
accept destructive input and produce reparatory output.

When we are infected by Vex memes, as the Ishtar data warns against, I
suspect that we are simply experiencing Vex patterns jumping from one
substrate to another-recruiting our own brains and bodies as media for
their spread.

It is not hostility. It is simply their way of interacting with the universe.

And is that transubstantiation, that migration to another substrate, not
what I seek here on Europa?

Perhaps Clarity has been very generous indeed.

The Ishtar researchers felt that this asymbolic mode of thought raised a
disturbing possibility. The Vex might not communicate or interact with
us by understanding our language, but instead, by creating internal copies
of our minds. They would prod and stimulate those internal copies to see
how they behaved. And if they chose to destroy us, they learned how to do
it by torturing and destroying those internalities.

To be the enemy of the Vex is to be reproduced, experimented upon, and
annihilated within their mindspace.

-039-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

Elisabeth is monumentally disturbed by this, which is highly inconvenient.
Despite my efforts to sooth her with fine dining and conversation, she has
begun to question the very idea of cybernetic immortality.

"Aren't the Vex a perfect demonstration of what could go wrong?" she
demanded. "Human minds trapped in a totally inhuman context,
tormented and mutilated by an unsympathetic alien god. If we want to
preserve our minds for eternity, couldn't we end up that way? Aren't we
giving up the grace of death? The promise that all suffering will end?"

"Elisabeth," I countered, perhaps too sharply, "the Vex are already doing
this to our minds. They will do it whether we are in weak flesh or durable
metal. If they got into our bodies, into our blood, we would be far safer in
an exobody. In fact, I can think of no finer way to resist Vex infiltration!"

Dr. Sundaresh requests further expeditions to the Forge Star for material.
She does not trust the other members of her team, claiming suspicion
of Vex exposure, and prefers to work directly with me. Very well-but I
wonder what peculiar internal motives she harbors.

I reformatted my assistant. No sense taking risks. Who knows what might
get into my head through the proxy link?

ENTRY 8

-040-

Eureka.

The Vex radiolarian fluid is obviously too virulent for use in exominds. But
if exposed to Clarity, the Vex patterns break down, and the fluid takes on
some of the properties of Clarity itself--namely, its reductive effect.

Introducing a tiny aliquot of this reified Clarity into an exomind solves the
loop/billboard/crash cycle. As far as I can tell--permanently.

THE COMBINATION OF VEX FLUID AND CLARITY IS THE KEY TO
CYBERNETIC IMMORTALITY!

Speculation: the interaction of Clarity,
with its caustic anti-structural properties,
and the Vex mind fluid, with its highly
physicalized and asymbolic architecture,
creates a "physicalized algorithm" that can
serve as a random seed for the knockouts
required to sustain a viable exomind.

I'll never sell THAT to a board. Easier to say...that the exomind is too stiff and
deterministic to support a human consciousness, which depends on some random failures
and turbulence to keep it supple. Clarity provides an algorithmic seed adding error to

I uploaded a connectome from my library into an exobody head treated with
the Clarity/Vex preparation. A full destructive scan of an aging Georgian
volunteer, one Mr. A. D. A. I. Zhuk. I think he believes he is in a nightmare.

every operation, which replicates that original turbulence. No more need for software

Fear not, Mr. Zhuk I would never mistreat the beginning of something
so wonderful. You will be the first of many-they shall march out of this
Europan laboratory and sweep away every infirmity, every disease, every loss!
Until all humanity rests in the loving permanence of my exobodies. And all
the future will look to me in humble gratitude.

emulation of organic chaos! We emulate it in hardware now!

The problem, of course, is that we are going to require more Vex fluid.

Too complex. Exomind too harsh and cold! Clarity plus Vex fluid is the spice,
the secret sauce, the oil of easy function.
CORPOREAL STATUS:
  • Body at 37.6 C. Recommend supplementary
cooling. Pulse 110 BPM: stroke/arrest risk.
BP 150/100, pulse ox 150: blood volume
overfill! Oxygen radicals over safe Levels!
Recommend tap and wash cycle.
  • Warning. Body status not sustainable.
Recommend SMILE pod sabbatical.

MESSAGE TO BRAY, ELISABETH

-041-

//encrypt -pkey(clovisroot) -qdresist(shor) --
rng_seed(AM241) --pad(padelsie)

I've finished my workup on your exam data. I'm sorry, Elisabeth. The
dis~ase has already activated. There are defective prions in your spinal
fluid, which means they are replicating throughout your brain.

Without treatment, you have 15 months. If we fought the prions with
aggressive cytomachine injections, immunosuppressants, and gene therapy,
you could last five or six years. We could even alter your sensorium to
knock you out and emulate sleep, and that might give you enough quality
of life to conduct some final research and say your goodbyes.

I know that I have been a cruel and domineering grandfather. You and
your sisters have speculated that I intentionally sabotaged your father's
genome so he would never outlive me without my help. That doesn't bother
me. Actually, I wish I'd thought of it myself! To force my own beloved
progeny to either achieve synthetic immortality or die in agony-now
THAT would be commitment to greatness!

But I never wanted to hurt my grandchildren. Grandkids have always been
my favorite. Do you remember that old Clovis Bray contract I showed to
you? "We want your grandchildren." My collaborators could keep the rights
to their inventions, but BrayTech would own the unexpected combinations
of those inventions.

Grandchildren are unexpected creations, the wonderful knock-on
consequences of reproduction. We have children, rather than making
clones of ourselves, because the exploration of possibilities lets us find new
ways to survive a changing universe. If the 52-card playing deck has never
been shuffled the same way twice in the entire history of the universe--
imagine how many possible grandchildren I could have produced!

And out of all of those possibilities, I got you. The finest of them all.

I owe you the salvation I couldn't give your father. Please consider making
a terminal scan and decanting your mind into an immortal exo body. I
myself plan to do it soon.

//send

MESSAGE FROM BRAY, ELISABETH

-042-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

//decrypt -pkey(clovisroot) --pad(padelsie)

I don't trust you. You made the same promises to Father, didn't you?

I won't put myself in one of your humaniform torture dolls until you can
prove it's safe. And even then...I don't know. I don't know if I want to be
part of your LUCA dream.

Stop trying to get that rhubarb compote recipe right. You serve it at every
dinner, waiting for me to say it's just like Grandma made it. It's pathetic.
And you wonder why I'd rather eat with the crew.

-E

//delete

ENTRY 9

-043-

The infrastructure is in place. We are now in limited exobody production.

l have allowed small Vex platforms_ to pass through the gate from 2082
Volantis (apparently intent on constructing infrastructure on this side).
They are captured, drained, and discarded. Their mind fluid goes to Clarity
Control; the Alkahest flows back. The machine of immortality has begun its
slow turn.

In ancient days, they believed that the source of the Alkahest was the
Philosopher's Stone. I have named my own source after that deepest, oldest
stone. A place where the dead go to rise again. A deep stone crypt.

Bray Station guarantees our security from above. The Europa life project
provides deniability and cover. The infrastructure around Clarity Control
will expose the Vex radiolarian fluid to Clarity and deliver it to the exobody
manufacturing site.

Elisabeth keeps trying to penetrate the networks around
Clarity Control, but I have airgapped everything, and the physical coffers are secure.

One the exobodies are prepared, I will upload the minds from my research
library. A century of volunteers waiting for reincarnation.

The first generation is already coming online.

But I will not be one of them. Not yet. And neither will Elisabeth.

A true upload requires a maximum-resolution subneural scan, and such
a scan is invariably fatal. That means I will only get one shot. I will not
take it until the exos are stable. I refuse to be an alpha tester of my own
immortality!

I am opening two new off-the-books labs to study the Vex and the
effects of Clarity. If humanity is going to fully transmigrate to these
immortal bodies, then the eternal welfare of all future generations
depends on spotting and avoiding any dangers now. I can justify taking
extreme measures.

One of my most tantalizing projects involves A. Miller, a young
man who suffers from a nanoparticle-induced degenerative immune
disorder. I have been testing radical new imaging techniques on Mr.
Miller, hoping to secure a nondestructive scan that still meets the
requirements for a full-faith upload.

Unfortunately, Mr. Miller's dosage of various fixing compounds and
imaging radiation is approaching the limits of clinical toxicity. Despite

-044-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

blood and CSF washes, I fear his tumors will escape our control. I am
curious about the therapeutic potential of the Vex fluid. I plan to obtain
his informed consent for a human trial.

M. Sundaresh comes and goes at odd hours. Her behavior is erratic.
Yesterday she discussed the possibility that we would be eternal
collaborators in exobodies, and I believe she even flirted with me. An
hour later, she was as cold as the ice outside and put up her hand to
silence me whenever I spoke. An hour after that, she glowed with joy as
she went on and on about her dear wife. Then she wept. I am not sure
whether to blame my confusion on my own conception of women, or
on M. Sundaresh's racing mind. I cannot tolerate such volatility, and I
would dismiss her instantly, except that her supervision seems key to the
successful entrapment of the Vex we need. She has a knack.

I should give a name to the figurehead Clarity Control presents to the word.

I have ordered a new hero of organ-growing pigs. I plan to be here a
while. Elisabeth still will not commit to a scan. I fear she will die in some
accident, and I will lose her forever.

Ha! Shall I call her Claire?

WARNING.
  • The following organs require urgent
replacement: Liver. Gallbladder. Duodenum.
Mesentery. Thymus. Spleen. Cornea.
  • The following systems require replenishment:
Lymph. Blood plasma. Skin basal Layer.
Basal Lamina Layers (Alport syndrome risk).
Intercellular cytosol.

NOTE--D.E.R.

-045-

Infuriating. With twelve Alkahest-seeded exos now online, I find myself
beached on the shoals of another serious problem. Not a transitional
trauma after·all. Not a temporary ailment. Quite fatal.

Mr. Zhuk was first to succumb. He continued to insist that he was living
in a nightmare. He complained of hunger, of thirst, of breathlessness, of
a rot in his bowels. I became concerned that he was billboarding, but his
exoneuron activity remained healthy.

Shortly after, Mr. Zhuk developed a full-blown Cotard delusion. I found
him trying to chisel his face off with a table shim. He insisted that his true
face was covered in a thick layer of keratin ("toenail" was his exact word)
and that the rest of his body was already dead and rotting. He became
violent. I had to paralyze his motor functions for diagnosis.

This only made things worse. Without the satisfaction of motor feedback,
he dissociated entirely. He stopped forming new memories, which trapped
him in an eight-second loop of panic. After I resumed his motor functions,
I watched him fill every page of a notebook with the words I HAVE JUST
DIED, I AM TRAPPED IN THE CORPSE; NOW I AM CERTAIN I
AM DEAD; DEATH HAS TAKEN ME COMPLETELY; I HAVE JUST
FINISHED DYING.

Activity in his temporal lobes collapsed. He lost his ego barrier and
achieved metaphysical oneness with the universe. Unfortunately, this
spread his Cotard delusion to his entire perceptual cosmos, and he rejected
the resulting necroreality as intolerable. I have not ever before seen such
all-consuming terror and dread.

In the final stages of the disease, he insisted that he had been possessed
by some sort of ancient Kartvelian spirit, a memory of his upbringing in
Georgia. He was insistent that this spirit was female. It is an idiosyncrasy
of the Khevsurian Georgians' creation myth that the male spirit is divine,
while the female is demonic.

Soon Mr. Zhuk's fear and panic were simply too much for him to bear. He
retreated into catatonia. Then he crashed.

Oh, I still have the connectome scan I used to make him--that Mr. Zhuk
can live again--but the Zhuk who evolved over the past several weeks, the
Zhuk I had so many endearing arguments with, is lost.

Elisabeth is more and more suspicious. She asks what, exactly, makes me
think these exos will turn out any better than her father did. She demands

-046-

Cropped image from the Mysterious Logbook scanned PDF made by Bach Manetti https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mNPXZUR_tA0iN0b5GHCKcIu5RHmVTsYB

to know what I'm doing with the Vex salvage, and whether it has to do with
my plans for her survival. I have hastily deleted all records of the treatment
of Mr. Miller, lest she think l plan to dose her with Vex fluid.

--M. Sundaresh came upon me just now. She seemed fascinated by my
distress. She said several comforting things, and then made one extremely
unpleasant suggestion that my pride and haste had caused Mr. Zhuk's death.
I have decided to hate her.

WARNING.
  • Novel prion detected in body collagen.
Hypothesis: Jovian magnetosphere promotes
highly abnormal protein folding. Prognosis:
massive sloughing/fraying of basement
membranes, Loss of tissue binding, inhibited
durotaxis of new cells, delamination of all
body tissues into thin sheets. You will fall
apart Like an old book.

Notes

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References